I want to break free from the fucking shackles of my broken bones, my mangled nerves and all the other shit I endure. I don’t want to have to lie in bed for hours on end and cry myself to sleep. Its infuriating and completely revolting… I deal with it the best I can but I still cannot find a positive escape… The pain is always there, mostly bearable but the possibility of agonizing ignition is still always there, being dragged along by my aching kneecaps.
At this point I have been in bed for six hours twisting and turning trying to get away from it, but I can’t…. There are drugs, and exercise and all that other shit but I tried and no matter, the pain and quivering is always there. It’s why I can’t sleep, it’s why I can’t think and it’s driving me absolutely mad… And most definitely not mad in a brilliant sense, mad in the tear off my arms sense. This crap is pissing me off, I’m tired of it and it’s why I haven’t been writing or doing anything lately… Because I don’t want to have to sit in a chair because it’s too uncomfortable… Fucking pathetic