Intoxication

~
I feel a strong urge to hide under a vanishing guise of intoxication. It makes me sickly, a lil icky and overall an overexposed mess. That’s all to make for proper bad but what few see is that intoxication brings a very visible void with its existense. For in normal life there is regret, commitment, and uncertainty… When I use something to remove myself I am within a cone of unsolicited nothingness… It’s beautiful in a sense but it is utterly and unexplainably engulfing. It’s a scary feeling for me to experience a lack of control over perception; I need to take a minute, to recalibrate my orientation of motion and aim more towards an existence of controlled steadiness.
~
n

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